I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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