I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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