my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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