i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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