Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She told me I should be a condom model.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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