I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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