What did we do last night that was yellow?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
