I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
