She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Randomize
