i don't like sucking hair
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
