You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It's blow job season.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
