when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
