I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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