She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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