You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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