would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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