38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
