i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
where am i from again
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
