I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
