when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
