vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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