It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
