I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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