this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
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Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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