bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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