Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think a kid would responsible me up
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
