I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
