i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I love you.
Bad choice
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
