Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
