And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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