nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize