Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
