yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
