the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
