I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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