I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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