We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
