I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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