the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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