1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
