Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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