shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
