Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
