Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize