so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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