awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
