thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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