My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize