I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
