so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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