After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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