Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
