a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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