white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My penis needs a shock collar
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
