i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
