dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
