he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
