the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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