Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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