I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
