are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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