eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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