Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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