this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
