this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
