Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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