Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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