Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
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Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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